Here we are waiting on baby 5 to arrive any minute...and by every minute I mean that it feels like a year has gone by with each passing hour...needless to say, WE'RE READY! These sweet pictures were taken back in the summer by our friend Charissa Magno, a San Diego based photographer. We were staying with her and her husband for the weekend when she offered to take pics of our family after we had announced to them we just found out about baby 5 arriving. As you can tell, her talent is undeniable and now that we'll be a party of seven any day now, I'm so grateful for this gift she gave us!
We decided to wait to find out about the gender on our little one until it's born, as we have with all of our girls. Some have asked why we've waited and we get a lot of reactions saying "I could never do that, how could you not know!?" So I thought I'd share a little more behind the decision and process for me this time around.
With our first, I always knew I wanted to wait to find out because I thought there was something so special in finding out the gender once our baby was finally here. Shane agreed that waiting to find out felt more fun and so the decision for us was easy. We loved the surprise at birth so much we just kept the tradition going with each of our other girls.
When we started talking about when we would have another one I thought for sure I'd want to find out early on what it was for the sake of my heart being set on wanting a little boy. I thought that by finding out if it was a girl early on, then somehow I'd ease in to knowing the news once "she" was here. But the more I thought about that logic, the more I didn't feel right about that either. I didn't ever want to feel "disappointed" by whoever they were and created to be or feel like I needed time to be okay with it. I wanted to be in a place where just the privilege and gift of having another one was more than ok and enough. I sat it in for a while going back and forth on wanting to find out and wanting to keep it a surprise. All along the way we have, of course, hoped to bring a little boy into the world, but every time we saw each of them for the first time all I could feel was joy (and relief) from them just finally being in our arms. It didn't matter whether they were a boy or girl, it just mattered that they were here and healthy and ours.
I wanted that same feeling for this new one and for every baby we bring into this world. And ultimately I wanted to be able to trust God with the decision of who He has created specifically for our family. The decision to wait was a bit of a process for me, I think because a deeper reason I want a little boy is to watch Shane get to father a son and knowing how incredible that relationship will be.
In saying all of this I am not at all trying to imply that others deciding to find out is an act of not trusting God or that its wrong by any means. I hope you can read through this already knowing that. I think its just as exciting and fun for others when they find out early on too. I am simply just sharing a small part of the journey I've been on, knowing fully that each person's decision is different and special.
With each day I have prayed for this baby, I know that God has placed in our hands the perfect little one He has entrusted us to raise. So I am putting my trust right back into His hands. Trusting that He will bring my heart full joy when we see him or her for the first time. Trusting that the family He has given us will be for His honor and glory...and gosh I really can't wait to see all that he or she will bring to our little tribe.
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