girls bow headbands// charleycharlesshop
Its been almost three weeks now since we welcomed our newest little one into our tribe. Sage Elisabeth (ee-lees-uh-beth) Kuyper made her way into the world 3 days past her due date on January 7th. The anticipation of her arrival felt like it would never end. I had contractions on and off for 2 weeks leading up to her due date and when the day came and went I was sure she wasn't gonna come out! But soon enough she came, giving me the most intense and longest labor, being our biggest baby yet at 7 pounds 2 ounces. She came with a head full of gorgeous hair and looking like the spitting image of her oldest sister. Throughout this pregnancy we said we were hoping for a boy, but once we saw her we were just in love. I couldn't help but laugh that we are now parents of FOUR girls!! Lots of hormones and proms and weddings to prepare for some day.
Adding a new baby to the mix of our already hectic lives sure makes for a big adjustment for anyone and for us the transition has been beautiful. Sage has easily taken the 'most popular' title in our family by a landslide and her sisters couldn't be more obsessed with her. Watching how they've immediately embraced her has made my mom heart swell even bigger than I knew possible. They constantly want to hold her and be as close to her as they can, sometimes without any room to breathe. On multiple occasions I've found all three of them hovered around her patting her belly or rubbing her head. Her name according to them is either "be-be" or "baby Sage". The hardest part of it all is getting them to let her go, which usually ends up in a crying fit.
Many people have asked how the transition has been, how the baby is doing at night, how her sisters are doing with her. They've asked if I'm getting any sleep, if we want more kids, and how we deal with it all. These questions are asked on a weekly if not daily basis. While it feels, at times, like a repetitive question I just want to give a simple and short answer to in order to move on, its made me reflect on being a mom and what my real answers to those questions are.
Someone said to me the other day "you must really love being a mom" and that comment has been ringing in my head ever since because it couldn't be more true. Sure, the nights are interrupted with feedings and diapers changes. Juggling four littles and a working schedule is hard, but in the chaos of it all it really makes me love motherhood even more. The truth is that when others ask if we want more kids or how we do it all I get kinda shy about it. Its silly really, but there's a part of me that is hesitant to say "yes we want more kids" because I'm afraid of how people might react. I don't really know what to say when someone comments "how do you do it". I don't really ever think of going about our days in some sort of strategic way to make everyone calm and happy. Some days are harder than others. Some are really really great. We have an amazing community around us who love our girls immensely that I wouldn't be able to live without. I don't have special super human powers that give me the ability to handle more kids. Just like all other moms, there are times I get really frustrated and tired at dealing with crying babies and repeatedly teaching how to be kind and use words and so on. On average we change about 15-20 diapers a day (not kidding). But for me, there's so much to motherhood that outweighs the hard stuff. Its the times I see my girls say sorry to each other and hug it out. Its when I watch them share and be kind and play together with joy. Its when I find them all sitting on the same bed looking at books together. Its watching them get excited to see their sister after waking up from a nap. Its laughing intensely with them when they think they're being funny. Its when I teach them how to do something or how to say something and they finally figure it out on their own. Its the hugs and the kisses and hearing them say "I wub you". Its watching them grow up.
I'm not sure how many times we'll be blessed with another baby, but for now I can say that I know I'm not done. The joy of holding a newborn for the first time is almost like an addiction for me. There's something about new life and the innocence of it all that is so beautiful. Life is deeper and fuller and richer watching it through the lens of parenthood. It makes me understand the love of my Heavenly Father more than I could've ever done without having kids. There's something each of my children brings to this life and our family that is teaching me more about who God is and how much He loves us. Maybe thats the deeper reason for loving motherhood so much, that it gives me reasons to know Jesus more. Even in the hard stuff I'm understanding who He's made me and how crazy He is about me. For this reason I pray my kids would know Him like I do someday. And as I listen and learn what He has to teach me, I also get to sit back and watch how He teaches them and thats a gift that is more rewarding than anything else. A gift that gives me a million reason to say "I really do love being a mom".